Back From a Long Break with Lots of Questions
I have been having lots of questions to ask my dear readers (if you are still around) and wanted to get a response from you. So here we go.
For the Females:
1. Have you ever had a period and then before you had a chance to go the mikvah, you bled again?
2. Did you ever feel frustrated being a niddah and broke some rules? Did you feel guilty about it? Did you husband go with the flow or did he stop you?
3. Have you ever tried pleasing yourself when you were a niddah and enjoy it sometimes more than when you have real sex with your husband?
For the Men:
1. Did you ever feel that you wanted to break the laws of niddah and be with your wife, and actually touch her? How did she respond?
2. Are you supportive of your wife when she is a niddah?
3. Do you cum when your wife is a niddah? does she watch you or is that a private moment?
What are you mikvah nights like? Is it hard or a romantic soft sex?
ttfn
posted by BasTorah @ 1:41 PM
5 Comments:
WELCOME BACK!
nidda is hard but if you break some rules its a slippery slope to kares.... you just might not be able to hold back in time.
I agree one thousand percent with lakewood schmuck. The aveirah is too serious to even be entertained.
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Alright; I agree- 'nidda' is too serious to play around with.
(Though I once had a girlfriend who's father told me that he once invited a yeshivish couple over to his house for Shabbat. And at the table he (yeshivish guy) commented (for whatever reason) that his wife was a nidda, and then after they left he (girlfriends father) found a condom stuffing up the toilet).)
Also, I think your question helps prove guys like me wrong, that it's not true that all sexual temptations go away after marriage. It may be easier, but you STILL need a lot of self control. Even what you were discussing, the delight of masturbating in front of each other (perhaps because of nidda issues); that's clearly just as bad as masturbating in general. In fact there are a lot of types of sex that don't involve semen actually going into the, ...uh, right place.
And there's always that issue of individual sexual gratification (for guys definitely- with porn, and perhaps also for girls). That kind of sexuality though, is an “evil” type of sexuality; sexuality that actually does bring to two people a certain amount of affection can't be all bad (it's called 'making love'), but masturbating alone is not 'making love'. Which, in a way is why it may actually be 'more fun than sex'; because it's all fantasy. And I was thinking -based on Rav Wolba's (a"h) teachings-, that thinking about sex is even worse, because it's TOTALL fantasy; you get whatever you picture in your mind.
(I stated elsewhere that) I personally right now am addicted to masturbating while watching porn, and thinking sexual fantasies. But I WAS able to abstain from that kind of stuff for a long time through hard work. So I hope, if not from a religious perspective, at least from sexual-health/Shmuley Boteach perspective, that I be able to abstain (for good) soon (especially before marriage).
And by the way, ‘frum bocher’; that Leah girl is so OLD man, who the hell would want to f--- her? whew!
Real cute comment about me. You can read my opinions on these subjects on the love life blog.
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