Enough is Enough
I know this topic was covered already but this keeps coming up in conversations with people.
Sorry men this is for us women.When you get your period, how do you feel? How many of us are regular? How many can say they enjoy getting it, or don't mind it? My friends have all agreed on the hating the period thing. They hate the the actual bleeding. They hate all the halachos that go with being a niddah and find it more and more degrading. The mikvah going is annoying and no one really wants to sit in a bath and clean their body from head to toe. Why are we still using such old archaic laws where things are so very different than when they were back then. And if I recall correctly, over the years they added things and are now called halachos. Why can't we in this generation add things and make that halacha?!
Halachos to change regarding Niddah.
1.You can pass things to one another while being a niddah. Passing doesn't really cause one to get very horny, therefore one can pass every day items to one another and not announce to the world that you are bleeding.
2. Bedikahs shall only be done on the first day and the last day. Why are we fingering ourselves when we cannot have sex.
3. The color is red or brown. Any other color, you are not a niddah.
4. If you happen to have a gyno check up and he makes you bleed or anything else that causes some blood but is not your period, you are not a niddah.
5. If you stop feeling the flow of blood but still seem to be spotting, you can still count your seven clean days.
6. You do not need to cut your nails that short nor your hair.
Basically we are fed up with the niddah aspect of this religion of ours. What do the men get? They can't have sex for 12+ days. They don't want it either. Figure out how to boycott or find a way that what was changed years back should not be applied to this day of age.
disclaimer: the above are thoughts not actual halacha!
posted by BasTorah @ 7:53 PM
10 Comments:
unreal
you should change your blog name from bas torah to bas rasha
you are a kofer!
afra lepimach
"They do not want it either."
I beg to differ.
someone finaly hit rick bottom. youve figured it out. halacha does not neccesarily have to make complete sense to our minds. its just aguideline that we've taken upon ourselves to adhere to. my condolences its not easy. then again like floyd said it may be just a brick wall. who knows nothings fosure til we reach olam haemes. see ya there!
There is no question in my mind that sometimes rules need to be bent one way or another in order to achieve certain, much more important goals. Nothing is black and white, even though the Rabbis would like you to believe that it is!
BT... I am a big fan of yours, but you are crossing a line here. You really shouldnt be encouraging women to commit serious violations of Halacha
The fact that "harchokos" became halacha is troubling to me as well and like others have mentioned my wife and I do not practice them in public (unless we are at her parents house.
I hear stories about women who after going through childbirth are so weakened that they are confined to a wheel chair saying how hard it is to roll themselves because their husbands can't push them and I can not help but think of the term chosid shoteh.
Although applying our own common sense to the halacha should never be condoned (or we would all be eating pork today) one must understand the difference between halacha and chumrah and know where that line is or have a competent rational rav with whom these things can be discussed.
As far as your main points 1,2,3,4 and 6 are not that halachikly ureasonable 5 may be pushing it.
HAving said all that I know that my wife is not fed up with the niddah aspect because it keeps me away from her which also refutes your "men don't want it either" point.
And all that crap that teach you before you get married about how it makes you look forward to being together and keeps a sense of freshness in the rlationship.
is true.
There is absolutely no halacha that a woman must cut her hear before going to the mikvah
that is only an hungarian minhag.
bald women look ungly unless your a svartzah!
I keep my hair shoulder legnth, and I uncover my hear after I come home from the Mikvah and my husband gets all excited and is all over me..
By the way my husband is a big roov in Boro Park
NHN,
welcome to my blog. I am happy to hear that your husband is a big roov in boro park. Maybe he will set up practice and teach his mishagas to his followers.
As for your hair. I say as long as when you go under water you get a kosher go ahead, and have hair down to your toes.
Nice to know your husband gets turned on by seeing your hair.
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Thank goodness you have the confidence, even if it's only on a blog, to express your feelings on this. Contrary to popular belief, or more likely, contrary to what people convince themselves to believe, niddah doesn't help anyone in marriage. It causes resentment, and an uncomfortable feeling between spouses for half a month. You don't need to be a mathematician to figure out that is half of your life (and a greater percentage of your adult life), and that is simply absurd. People talk about how great it is to "struggle" and how great the rewards are. Bullcrap. How many people have their "wedding night" each month? How many people even want their wedding night each month? Most people just want some enjoyable sex, cuddling, and then a relaxing sleep. Are we so pathetic, that we need to abstain from sex for half a month to enjoy it the other half? (not to mention, almost all people, regardless of religion, do not have sex during the actual period of bleeding).
At the most basic level, however, what it comes down to is do you really need your sex life regulated? That is the question. (I know it automatically opens up additional questions, but maybe it should).
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