WOW. Four years since my last post. I don't know where to start or what to share with you. But here I am. I have lots of new topics and not sure if I should be posting here or at the Dear BasTorah blog. I am thinking of starting here and kicking this off first.

On an email I received or was it a comment, I forget, a poster commented that her husband had met this women who is the same age as him and they had a lot in common. Her husband took to her and started discussing things with her that he stopped discussing with his wife. It was a platonic relationship, where he just found someone to talk to. It didn't help that she was stunning as well...and the wife felt that he was "cheating" on her. Not sexually. That she was sure about. But emotionally, she felt that he was cheating on their marriage, and gave him an ultimatum. The wife or the girl-friend. I don't know what happened.

But that is not the first time I had heard that. I have also heard that from a different couple. The wife complained that he was cheating on her with someone he met. She would over hear his whispers to the other person on the phone. When questioned, he said that the marriage was tense, and he found someone to talk to. He was no way sleeping with her. He just found someone to listen to him. To comfort him. To understand him. The wife here felt cheated on.

My question to you readers, are you still reading? Why is it the woman who feels that the husband is emotionally cheating on the wife? Why don't men feel that way? Why do men feel that it is okay to have conversations and share things with other females what they don't share with their wife? Is it just a female perspective on things? I guess the old question is, can a boy and a girl just have a platonic relationship? Who is right and who is wrong? Why does the wife feel like it is cheating, but the men do not?

Discuss.

Back From a Long Break with Lots of Questions

I have been having lots of questions to ask my dear readers (if you are still around) and wanted to get a response from you. So here we go.

For the Females:
1. Have you ever had a period and then before you had a chance to go the mikvah, you bled again?
2. Did you ever feel frustrated being a niddah and broke some rules? Did you feel guilty about it? Did you husband go with the flow or did he stop you?
3. Have you ever tried pleasing yourself when you were a niddah and enjoy it sometimes more than when you have real sex with your husband?

For the Men:
1. Did you ever feel that you wanted to break the laws of niddah and be with your wife, and actually touch her? How did she respond?
2. Are you supportive of your wife when she is a niddah?
3. Do you cum when your wife is a niddah? does she watch you or is that a private moment?

What are you mikvah nights like? Is it hard or a romantic soft sex?

ttfn

What's Next

Yerushalayim: Tznius Hashgocho established
April 30, 2007

According to Ynet News, the Tzibur Hacharedi in Yerushalayim has
established a new Tznius Bais Din to grant kashrus certificates to
women's clothing stores.

The Bakehila newspaper, reported over the weekend that an assembly
of
Rabbonim gathered at the home of Rav Eliyashiv Shlita, and decided
to
establish the Tzinus Bais Din.

Representatives will examine the garments sold in clothes stores and
will grant kashrus certificates to worthy vendors.

Many Rabbonim have found this to be extremely helpful, and plan on
bringing it to American cities with high Jewish Orthodox
populations,
such as Lakewood, Monsey, Brooklyn, Cleveland, Passaic, Silver
Spring,
Baltimore, and Miami.

Open for discussion

Please let's discuss this topic:


I have read somewhere that there is this frum wife who is upset with her husband. She came home early one day and assumed her darling husband was NOT home. Lo and behold, to her dismay she found him in their bedroom....



He was wearing her silky lingerie and there were underwear on the floor.

I must know what my readers think. Is this a common thing? Do our husbands really cross-dress? Do many men want to try on our stockings and thongs? Do they want to wear a bra? After having a discussion with her husband he said he has been doing this since he was 15 years old. The Yetzer Hara (you're a real mean guy..) makes him do it. He tries to fight it but has the urge to do it. BUT he is straight and not Gay.

I love this.

The comment section is NOW open for discussion. I want to see what your opinion is!

Why is it?

When a woman opens up about her truest feelings regarding sex or anything intimate, everyone in blogosphere assumes it is a man writing it, and claims that no woman talks/thinks that way!

Can't we woman have a sex drive too? Don't we have fantasies? Isn't the internet the only "kosher" way to express our desires, interests, love, frustration..Etc?? Why do we need criticism as well.


I'm back. Been a long long vacation, too long. (those who know, know!)

A Happy Marriage

Just read a question "are you happily married?" "is your spouse happily married?"

This made me think.
Hard.

Are we really happily married? Are my friends happily married? Are my parents happily married? Were my grandparents happily married? Most seem to have a happy marriage on the outside. But will we ever see the inside of the marriages? The marriages we emulate, are they really worth emulating?

Is it true that most marriages the couples are not happy, but stick with it for various reasons? Is it because of the kids involved? Or, for those financially secure stay put because it beats the alternative? Or the don't want the shanda of being a divorcee?

There is no reason for me to compare my marriage to others. Why would I want to be jealous of someone else, when I do not know what is really going on? If I am not happy in a situation and I think my friend is happier but her sex is not as amazing as mine, will I be willing to give up what I have in order to have a happier appearance?

Now why is someone not happy in their marriage? How many feel that if they knew then what they now know, they would not have gotten into the marriage contract in the first place? Knowledge is powerful here. Imagine if you can see ahead and decide to plan your life based on that. Would it really work? If you knew your husband was going to cheat on you, would you have married him in the first place? We tend to forget the amazing things that have happened and all the happy days we have had and focus on the negative. Would you really throw away x amount of your life or not even experience it in the first place?

How many times have you said the words "had I only known...I would not have...". How many? Do you honestly think that you made a bad decision and now you have to live with it?

Should we really set the bar for the youngsters? Should we tell everyone DON'T get married so early in life. You really do not know what you want or getting into. DON'T do it! Will we do that to our children or will we let them make their own decision and let them live their own life and learn from it. We can only teach them how to pick and choose the right one.

What is the right one? Do we take the faults of our spouse and say, this is wrong, the opposite is good and therefore I would NOT choose what is bad? Do we set the bar higher? Do we change and think about our own faults and what we do to cause our spouse to respond, or is only a one way street?

What makes us happy? What makes a happy marriage? Do you think your neighbor is happy? If you hear no yelling and they always look happy, do you really think that they have a desirable marriage? Would you tell your intimate secrets to your friend in hope of your friend to share with you the same? Do you judge based on your friends marriage? Do you decide if they have a good marriage or not and that sets the bar for you?

Stop looking at others. Find out what makes you happy and what makes you get upset. Work on it yourself. Change you. Your spouse will change as well. But stop the comparison. It really is not worth it. You have good too, just need to realize that it is work. Whoever said marriage is not work lied. We all know that.

Just do it.

Ksiva V'chasima Tova.

Bassy

For Ladies

So ladies out there...men you can leave....
What type of bra do you wear? Do you wear underwire, minimizer, pushup, padded, etc etc. etc.
Are you particular with the quality or do you look for the lacy sexy version at victoria's secret?

I ask this because I want to know what you do. Simply put. I share with you, now you share with me.

I assume the husband wants that black lacy bra with no support. Or even wants the oh, never mind not to say here.

So readers, go ahead, the comment section is open for you to respond. Tell us. Tell all.