He Needs Help....Let us Help him
"Dear Bas Torah,
Firstly, I would like to thank you for your blog. Although I don't comment, I am an avid reader and have learned a lot from it. I am getting married in a couple of months, and anything I can learn which will help my marriage is a good thing, and there has been much of that on your blog.
I don't know if this is something you would feel comfortable posting about, but I know it would be very helpful to me, and probably many other people who will get married soon. I have spent time learning my chosson classes, which did include a basic introduction to sex, and I have read my fair share of books and seen my fair share of movies. Nevertheless, I am very nervous about what happens in reality after the wedding. How people approach their first time, what they might or might not do, how comfortable'uncomfortable it was, if it was painful to the woman, if it is like fumbling in the dark, or if things just come naturally. Obviously, there would be a lot of variation depending on many different factors, but I would love to hear your or your commenters perspectives.
Thanks
Ben Torah (You may Publish this, I changed my name to protect my identity)
posted by BasTorah @ 10:41 PM
3 Comments:
baby buchur just take your time, do it right you can do it baby buchur. if you are a serious person asking for help, here's my advice. first when you get settled in for the night, count your money. because if nothing else goes right at least you can think about the new increase to your bank account. on a serious note, hold her in your arms caress her, look her in the eyes, stare into them smile alot and for G-ds sake talk to her. tell her your joy your fears and what ever comes into your head. play with her hair, if she has any. dont rush into anything pretend she is a delicate fruit that you are carefully peeling trying eventually to get to the fruit of all friuts. maintain that emotional connection with her at all times after the first night you can disregard what i said, just kidding. as nervous as you are she is as equally oif shpilkes or even more. no one expects you to be a super star be yourself. mazel tov. we will be waiting to hear from you how it went.
Make sure you have some KY jelly. Its amazing how few "teachers" give their "pupils" this advice.
i forgot to mention 2 very important things. well in your case its only one but i'll tell you anyway for the next round. 1. hold her after wards they need to be held. 2. dont roll over and fall asleep. at least for the first 6 months.
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