Too Much Information
What is tmi for girl friends to share?
Being that we are Jewish and I am frum (still searching for a good definition), I keep wondering how much I can share with my friends and still keep within the boundries of keeping sexual relations in the bedroom, only. What I mean, and hope you do understand, and all you girls out there can help me out, is when is it too much information being given, and when can you open up.
As I was on the train to work I overheard two girlfriends talking. No, silly people, I do not mean lesbians. I meant two Jewish ladies on their way to work or shopping and their conversation got hushed and turned to Yiddish. I picked up the conversation when it got interesting. One was asking the other what she did to arouse her husband. And if she had tried something and does she think it would work. I was taken aback here. Why did they feel comfortable enough to talk about it in public, yet I sometimes don’t know when I can bring it up with my own friends who are more “modern” then what these two ladies looked like.
I don’t agree that the train was the appropriate setting, but that is not the point. The point I am trying to make is that some are very comfortable to talk about while others are not so. Don’t get me wrong, I have spoken to my friends on this topic numerous times, but I was never the one to bring it up. With some friends I assume it is a no-no topic and I should not even bother or think about it. While others I know it is a great topic but just how do you bring it up. Or better yet, am I too frum to talk about it with them and that is why they do not want to discuss it with me? I too want to brave like you and have a site that talks about sex all day long and have girl talk whenever needed. How does one get over the shyness and approach the topic like a regular normal topic? Or is it really a normal topic for bas yisroel wives to talk about with friends?
I remember my kallah teacher telling me to call her when and if I needed anything from her. I just didn’t feel so comfortable with her and now it is too late being a few years down the road. My mother, well, who can really speak to their mother about their bedroom lifestyle? I don’t feel comfortable talking to her, or the rebbetzin at shul. So I turn to you and to your blog and feel that I can ask here or at least talk here. Thank you again for allowing this avenue for me.
I can tell my friends, if the conversation leads that way, that yes I enjoy sex. Not in those words, but it can lead to that. But can I share with them what I did? Can I share the erotic details of our sexual escapades, or is that tmi and a breach in my husbands trust in me to keep things confidential? Am I to assume that he is keeping things under his hat as well? And not sharing this with his co-workers around the water cooler? There must be a set bar, a dignity bar that one doesn’t bend over to the wrong side. At what point is that? Is writing here bending the wrong way? Or is this allowed since it is anonymous? Oh, I have so many questions but so little time to think about how I can gently approach the topics with people I don’t think I know.
Thank you again for the outlet.
Being that we are Jewish and I am frum (still searching for a good definition), I keep wondering how much I can share with my friends and still keep within the boundries of keeping sexual relations in the bedroom, only. What I mean, and hope you do understand, and all you girls out there can help me out, is when is it too much information being given, and when can you open up.
As I was on the train to work I overheard two girlfriends talking. No, silly people, I do not mean lesbians. I meant two Jewish ladies on their way to work or shopping and their conversation got hushed and turned to Yiddish. I picked up the conversation when it got interesting. One was asking the other what she did to arouse her husband. And if she had tried something and does she think it would work. I was taken aback here. Why did they feel comfortable enough to talk about it in public, yet I sometimes don’t know when I can bring it up with my own friends who are more “modern” then what these two ladies looked like.
I don’t agree that the train was the appropriate setting, but that is not the point. The point I am trying to make is that some are very comfortable to talk about while others are not so. Don’t get me wrong, I have spoken to my friends on this topic numerous times, but I was never the one to bring it up. With some friends I assume it is a no-no topic and I should not even bother or think about it. While others I know it is a great topic but just how do you bring it up. Or better yet, am I too frum to talk about it with them and that is why they do not want to discuss it with me? I too want to brave like you and have a site that talks about sex all day long and have girl talk whenever needed. How does one get over the shyness and approach the topic like a regular normal topic? Or is it really a normal topic for bas yisroel wives to talk about with friends?
I remember my kallah teacher telling me to call her when and if I needed anything from her. I just didn’t feel so comfortable with her and now it is too late being a few years down the road. My mother, well, who can really speak to their mother about their bedroom lifestyle? I don’t feel comfortable talking to her, or the rebbetzin at shul. So I turn to you and to your blog and feel that I can ask here or at least talk here. Thank you again for allowing this avenue for me.
I can tell my friends, if the conversation leads that way, that yes I enjoy sex. Not in those words, but it can lead to that. But can I share with them what I did? Can I share the erotic details of our sexual escapades, or is that tmi and a breach in my husbands trust in me to keep things confidential? Am I to assume that he is keeping things under his hat as well? And not sharing this with his co-workers around the water cooler? There must be a set bar, a dignity bar that one doesn’t bend over to the wrong side. At what point is that? Is writing here bending the wrong way? Or is this allowed since it is anonymous? Oh, I have so many questions but so little time to think about how I can gently approach the topics with people I don’t think I know.
Thank you again for the outlet.
posted by BasTorah @ 12:40 AM
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