I am not Sure Where This one has a Point
I am sorry if this a repeat.
I keep reading this and trying to figure things out. How often do people have sex? Is it that they take advantage of the non-niddah nights and go for it daily or even twice daily? Are we really that into it, that we must have sex every night? But then what happens to the niddah weeks? How do you survive then, if you are used to having sex so often? Or we don’t think about that?
What is a healthy amount? Does it vary between couples? Is based on desire more than anything else? Or is the need to do it before niddah play into things? Is it out of desperation? Or starvation for the one or the other? Are we that animalistic that we feel if we don’t get our full quota during the on days, we will lose out and feel it even more so during the niddah days?
Who is hornier during the not-allowed-days? Do we hold it in and don’t mention it? Or is the man really more into it and really thinks about daily? And more than once a day? Do most women really have the same sex-drive as the man? Are we really that horny and do we take care of ourselves while we are a niddah, after all, it is allowed.
Who fakes it more? Who is not in the mood, but goes along, or cops a headache excuse not to have relations that night? If you really are that tired, do you go along with it? Or fake an illness, even if it is close to niddah time? Does niddah time actually play a roll into how horny one can get? Do you get hornier the closer it is to niddah, or the closer it is to mikvah night? What can we do to arouse oneself for mikvah night? And what can one do to alleviate the horniness during niddah time?
So many questions, I know. There are a few things on my mind that I want to ask. There are few emails that are asking me to write, but I don’t know if I can yet ask them here. I don’t want the tznius police to shut me down yet. I don’t want to take that step and pose some questions on to some innocent readers. I have left them to sit there, and soon will start to write about other topics.
I keep reading this and trying to figure things out. How often do people have sex? Is it that they take advantage of the non-niddah nights and go for it daily or even twice daily? Are we really that into it, that we must have sex every night? But then what happens to the niddah weeks? How do you survive then, if you are used to having sex so often? Or we don’t think about that?
What is a healthy amount? Does it vary between couples? Is based on desire more than anything else? Or is the need to do it before niddah play into things? Is it out of desperation? Or starvation for the one or the other? Are we that animalistic that we feel if we don’t get our full quota during the on days, we will lose out and feel it even more so during the niddah days?
Who is hornier during the not-allowed-days? Do we hold it in and don’t mention it? Or is the man really more into it and really thinks about daily? And more than once a day? Do most women really have the same sex-drive as the man? Are we really that horny and do we take care of ourselves while we are a niddah, after all, it is allowed.
Who fakes it more? Who is not in the mood, but goes along, or cops a headache excuse not to have relations that night? If you really are that tired, do you go along with it? Or fake an illness, even if it is close to niddah time? Does niddah time actually play a roll into how horny one can get? Do you get hornier the closer it is to niddah, or the closer it is to mikvah night? What can we do to arouse oneself for mikvah night? And what can one do to alleviate the horniness during niddah time?
So many questions, I know. There are a few things on my mind that I want to ask. There are few emails that are asking me to write, but I don’t know if I can yet ask them here. I don’t want the tznius police to shut me down yet. I don’t want to take that step and pose some questions on to some innocent readers. I have left them to sit there, and soon will start to write about other topics.
posted by BasTorah @ 1:24 AM
15 Comments:
I admire your honesty, ability to be forthright and open...something I had not associated with Orthodox women. I will come back to read your blog.
Two to three times a week is the normal schedule. Which is consistent with the opinion of the poskim. That being the Stiepler and Rav Moshe, as well as Rav Shlomo Levi in his Sefer Sha'ari Orah. Though, at least the Stiepler is a minimum. I tend to think this is a healthy amount actually. Especially if you're spending a great deal of time in a non-nidda situation.
there's always the vibrating panty or the pocket rocket.
My experience has always been that the Man is always hornier and is always the one to initiate,
while the first week after mikvah we do it more often 3 times is the norm that week the second week is a bit slower but for sure we do try to get another day in before the expected niddah dates but remember that's when PMS kicks in, so you gotta take in slowly that last few days, and shower her with love :)
Dear cynic, I don't see the need to personaly insult anyone.
meyer: you should be the poster guy for viagra
cynic cynic I really loved your comments, but it seems now you are going a step too far , there is no reason for it and you are trying to right your wrong comment
Wow great blog. Check out my blog too.
CYNICS CHINUM that is what we have here
i like to be held after wards
Certainly how tired she is makes a big deal. That can be frustrating.
Cynic, you are a sick puppy!!
hey semingirl go back to nursery
In my n-hood. There is no curfew. But I certainly hope you dont live there.
you all all misinformed. the celibates are the the biggest jerk offers in the world. i know i used to be a priest.
I think men and women have mis-conceptions about sex.
Women think that sex is like food for men..if we don't ask for it..we must be getting it somewhere else. When the truth is sometimes..both my wife and I are extremely tired at night and we both just fall asleep... without sex sometimes for a week straight.
Men don't understand that women..want sex to be re-assured that they still desirable and wanted....
so there's this great mis-communication in the bedroom..
If everyone can just understand..that it's ok..to be tired and want to fall into a blissfull sleep..and that no harm is being done..things would be different.
I don't know about you..but I get about 5 1/2 hours of sleep without sex..and sex is usually a good hour of physical work..It's not easy..
Just a few thoughts..
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