I Love You
Ever get into a fight with your spouse? Do the words I love you flow freely from you afterwards? Has a fight caused you to think what those words really mean and make you think twice the next time you murmur them?
Why after a fight or after an occurrence do we spend the time to think about the relationship we are in? During good times we tend not to think about the negative aspect of it and brush it under the proverbial rug. The fights and arguments and the negative words that were spoken oh so recently seem to disappear and not surface. We forget them. We brush them aside. We bury them until…until the next fight. The next blow up.
We say I love you to our spouses all the time. Or do you? Do you really mean the words or is it a catch phrase, something you must say to make peace. To make things go back to happy go lucky times? Are the words merely said to appease the person but in our hearts of hearts it is not really what you want to say. You have other feelings.
When one looks at his/her spouse and doesn’t feel anything inside and has no interest in relations with their other half, what is the next step? How long does it take to smell the coffee and figure out that life is not going anywhere. That the long you don’t talk the harder it will to talk? The longer you don’t share the same bed, the harder it will to share a bed together. The longer you say bitter words or no words, the harder it will to be civil and romantic to one another. When is it time for the couples to get a reality check in life? When should outside influences start butting in and offering their two cents and solutions? At what point is it too late to do anything about it.
The next time you say I love you to your wife or husband, think about it. Think whether you really mean it. Think what the words mean to you and to the one who you are saying it to. Does the recipient feel the same way? Does the recipient define those words the same way you do? Are you both on the same page in the chapter in life?
I love you.
Why after a fight or after an occurrence do we spend the time to think about the relationship we are in? During good times we tend not to think about the negative aspect of it and brush it under the proverbial rug. The fights and arguments and the negative words that were spoken oh so recently seem to disappear and not surface. We forget them. We brush them aside. We bury them until…until the next fight. The next blow up.
We say I love you to our spouses all the time. Or do you? Do you really mean the words or is it a catch phrase, something you must say to make peace. To make things go back to happy go lucky times? Are the words merely said to appease the person but in our hearts of hearts it is not really what you want to say. You have other feelings.
When one looks at his/her spouse and doesn’t feel anything inside and has no interest in relations with their other half, what is the next step? How long does it take to smell the coffee and figure out that life is not going anywhere. That the long you don’t talk the harder it will to talk? The longer you don’t share the same bed, the harder it will to share a bed together. The longer you say bitter words or no words, the harder it will to be civil and romantic to one another. When is it time for the couples to get a reality check in life? When should outside influences start butting in and offering their two cents and solutions? At what point is it too late to do anything about it.
The next time you say I love you to your wife or husband, think about it. Think whether you really mean it. Think what the words mean to you and to the one who you are saying it to. Does the recipient feel the same way? Does the recipient define those words the same way you do? Are you both on the same page in the chapter in life?
I love you.
posted by BasTorah @ 6:57 PM
7 Comments:
Powerful words I will definitely keep in mind for IY"H....
And so true about not appreciating a relationship until there is a problem. This is true not only in marriage, but with friends as well.
Shalom
This is frightening! I feel as if you spoke to me directly!
You ask the right questions but I need the answers.
At what point is there no purpose in trying to get the marriage back on the right track, when is it time to give up hope and do the inevitable???
Welcome back BT, I really missed you. Unfortunately, your post doesn't apply to me yet, as I still haven't met my bashert, but I still enjoy reading your blog immensely.
No offense sahm...but how the hell do you live with a man whom you said yourself you do not love?
If you do not tell him "i love you" in words, do you say it in actions? IS that his way of accepting it?
Better yet, why is he still with a woman who doesn't seem to love him?
Sahm, I think you have got to see and speak to someone. Contact your Ruv, or a psychotherapist. I am so serious here. It is unreal on how you are feeling and what is going on. I do hope you are not suicidal.
You really need to figure out where you stand in life and your marriage and work on something. Get out of the house more often. Go away with the kids. I don't know. Something has got to be done there. You are screaming for help! and no one is helping you.
Then see some one better, before things spiral out of control.
hey Bas, you ok? been quiet for a while.
TRK
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