How True

I was just reading a post about how this young frum wife was raped by her husband shortly after she was married. Her husband, or then choson, was smooth and sweet talked her and impressed everyone. After they were married and she became a niddah, he then mocked her and demanded sex from her. He used the good old claim that shalom bayis comes before niddah. And for the sake of shalom bayis, she must have sex with him. Being a young naiive 20 year old, she did. The next night, after she called her kallah teacher and found out there is no heter for shalom bayis issues, he grabbed her and raped her. He forced himself upon her when she was not a willing participant. He ripped her skirt and slapped her around just so he can cum. He then convinced her that a pool was a kosher mikvah and made her use that instead of being seen by a mikvah lady and afraid that the bruises might be detected and reported.

I am not sure I understand this. There are a lot of loop holes here and someone needs to fill them in, unless of course, this is not a true story.

Don't we women, okay, sigh, girls learn that hitting is not allowed? Shouldn't we be taught this and told over and over again, that no matter what we do, the husband is not entitled to hit us? That we are people and we do not stand for this type of abuse? That there are places we can go to for protection and people to talk to. We must start incorporating this into our kallah classes. I don't care who he is, or how much money he has, or how much Torah he has learned, he does not raise his hand to his wife. He does not mock it. He does not treat his wife that way. We should not stand for it. Not once. Not twice. There is no, "improvemet" here. Once he hits he will always hit.

Do we go to kallah class for a reason? Don't they teach us the halachos? The circumstances that occur that we should call a Rav? If you have a question regarding niddah or shalom bayis, the kallah teacher is not the best person to ask. She doesn't have the authority to be lenient with halacha so you don't gain that much. If you need to be lenient with halacha, go ask a Rav and do not rely on your learning huband.

A pool for a mikvah? I think not, especially indoor pool. We learn the basics and a lake is kosher but not so safe.

Despite the story not being continued, so we do not really know what has happened, we do not know what had happened before. We don't know or understand why she stayed where she was for that long. Does love conquer all? Do we really lose our marbles when we marry? That no matter how much we get hurt by the one we love, we love him so much we are willing to stay there and get hurt? We ask for this. We want it.

At what point do you think she should have left her husband? What is your breaking point? When and what will cause you to leave your husband?