When do you Tell?

He cheated on her.

No really, he did. I caught him in the act. I over heard the phone conversation and there was no mistake. He was having an affair with someone. He was having sex with someone other than his wife, who just happened to be a good friend of mine. And I heard about it.

You know the look someone gives you when they are doing something wrong, and you catch them, yet they also know that you will not do anything about it. It is that sheepish grin that says "guilty" and then turns into the daring look, "what are you going to do about it?!" So to ask the question of the title "when do you tell"??

When do I go to my friend, who seems to be happily married to the man of her dreams, and tell her that he is not happily married to her? That he is looking for something else. That he is wanting more than she is offering, and actually going after his lust and getting it. That he caved into his sexual desires and threw away his family ethics and killed his wife by cheating on her.

Is she really happy in her marriage? Can I recall a time that she seemed upset at him for something and brushed it off with "he had to work late again" excuse. Maybe she really knows already, but decided to live with it and if I tell her, it will be an embarrassment for her. Now I am not sure if I should tell her or not. Would I want to know if my husband was being unfaithful to me?

Why would one tell someone that their spouse is cheating? Is it to benefit the friend, that the wife/husband should know of the unfaithfulness that is going on? Or is it to make us take a good look at our life and realize that no matter how bad it is, someone has it worse, or maybe going through the same thing, therefore, we are not so bad. If her husband is cheating on her, than she too is guilty of pleasing him just like I am. All hypothetical (my husband is NOT cheating on me)

Do I tell my friend that her husband has a secret? Do I hint to things might not be so good there, or do I just ignore it and make believe that I didn't know until she tells me something. But I know that once it is known to her, I don't doubt that her husband will let her know that I knew about it, and didn't do anything about it. It is a lose lose situation, and I must decide soon which is better to lose at.

If only he showed some remorse. If only he felt guilty about it and wants to stop. If only he didn't dare me with his eyes to do something about it. That was his cry for attention. That was his way of telling me he wants me to say something, but I still do not feel comfortable being the one. Why should I be the bearer of bad news? Why is it my fault that I happened to have heard him and figure things out? Why wasn't it her who found out instead of me? Why is he cheating on her? Why oh why oh why.

So many questions, and the answers are not going to be pleasant.

Fairy Tales

Ever have feelings for your co-worker? Ever suspect that your spouse might have feelings for someone at work or on the way to work?

He cheated on his wife with one of the girls who work in his office. Simple as that. He simply was not satisfied at home. His wife wasn't giving it him. He wanted more. He wanted things she would never think of offering. He wanted things that were only in fantasy land, yet he had this burning desire to make it happen to him. He wanted to live in this big fairy tale like life. He wanted it all. A family at home. A lovely wife who awaits for his arrivals. Smart and cute children. A nice home. And a mistress on the side. The one who gave into his whims. The one who catered to his dreams. Who took care of his needs.

The poor innocent wife. She assumed she could trust her husband and had no reason not to. He took care of things for her. He even understood when she was not in the mood, he didn't pressure her. Things were good. Until one day she found it.

She found out about his secret life. She found out everything. His dreams, his fantasies, his actions. She found out that her life has been a farce. That he might have claimed to have loved her, but he just killed her by having this affair. There was no competition there, and if there would have been one, she knew she would have lost. She lost now. She lost her husband and the life she knew.